sticksandbones IC Inbox

[bluebasketballed]

powers nerfed & gained
❆ - superhuman strength: nerfed to the point he couldn't destroy, like, a building in one hit, but even hakuji as a human could punch people's bones apart so good luck!
❆ - self healing: nerfed from instant to delayed 5-10 minutes.
❆ + conditional sunlight immunity: an enchanted anklet that nullifies the harmful effects of sunlight and sun-based magic so long as he is wearing it.

deaths & resurrection prices
none..... YET

other permanent changes
❆ scarring - november 2025: a solid scar the width of his fist at the crux of his ribcage and at the same height on his back, implying impalement. any sensation to this scar, including pain, is shared with kyojuro.


weasel's note: akaza's handwriting is the very sad and choppy scrawl of a man who barely knows how to write. the netbook is just polite enough to make it legible. i just type it in all lowercase bc i'm too lazy to pick out the spelling/handwriting mistakes. thank u for your understanding. i'm having fun now thx

he lives at the inn, the room next to kyojuro's. his window is boarded up from the inside. it is very dark in there. mentitycave

he lives at the soryu dojo south of the river, in koyuki's old room. he offers unarmed self-defense training at the dojo.


plotting contact: PM // discord @ fuckweasel

Comments

[bluebasketballed]

[even if, logically, he knows kyojuro probably doesn't mean it in a hurtful way, still, "forget it" feels as much like a slap in the face as anything. now, the heat in his face burns in an absolutely humiliating way, rather than any sort of pleasant feeling.

it figures. why the hell did akaza let himself think, even for a second, that he was allowed to be so selfish, after everything he's done and failed to do?

whatever he wishes?

what a joke.

his hand flexes and slips from kyojuro's as he turns, refusing to even look directly at him, meeting his gaze or otherwise. he echoes kyojuro hollowly.]

Forget it. Go rest, Kyojuro.

[tempurahair]

[Something in the air between them shifts. Even with Akaza's rejection, he had not turned away from Kyojuro. It's only once he's spoken that the other man pulls back. Something in his own words had garnered revulsion from his companion.

And that just won't do.

He has been so careful, not pushing unless Akaza made it clear he was willing to be pushed. Given his previous methods, Kyojuro should know not to surge forward here and now, he should respect the distance put up between them.

But some part of him wonders if that's the right idea. Perhaps it's his own selfishness speaking, the part of his mind that can't shake the image of two rings and the sort of smile that says he felt right at home with this man once. Or maybe it's just the fear of damaging their friendship by walking away. Either way, he has to do something.

Still, even if he decided to stay, he could do so carefully. Insist on taking Akaza's hand, perhaps, or call out to him in a gentle tone. But Kyojuro has never been one for half-measures, and that's exactly why he surges forward as quickly as he can. He knows he only has seconds before the man takes off at speeds he will never be able to match.

In seconds, he is at Akaza's back. His arms wrap around him, securing him from behind. It's not a tight grip by any means — easily stepped out of should one desire. But it's an embrace nonetheless, one that presses his chest to Akaza's back and keeps him close.]

I have a better idea. [His voice is low and gentle, coming in just above Akaza's ear.] Why don't you tell me what you want?

[bluebasketballed]

[he knows it's fucked up that his first instinct is to get kyojuro off of him as violently as possible. it would be absolutely effortless to shatter ribs with an elbow, smash in his nose with a backhand. at kyojuro's tender voice and words, he nearly loses control over the muscles begging to break something. he feels the back of his neck hackle as if in the freezing cold he hasn't felt since he was human; the same as the sun, it's been so long he can't recall exactly what it was like.

is this a test? from kyojuro, or some higher power? it's everything he can do to keep his voice level, though it quakes from the effort.]

Stop. I want you to stop. Stop treating me like -- like I'll break. [akaza doesn't truly believe what he did during their battle, that the slightest weakness means someone should be culled. even so -- being treated as anything less than immovable, unstoppable, makes his skin crawl.

that's got to be it. showing his belly to a hashira goes against everything he is.]

[tempurahair]

[There is a contradiction in those words, at least as far as Kyojuro's mind sees it. Stop, Akaza says, and at once those arms start to loosen. But when he follows it up with merely balking at the gentleness, those arms squeeze around him once more. To any one else, this grip would be crushing. He knows it means little to Akaza. If he wanted it, the man would already be free.]

Is that what you think? That I am being gentle because I feel you cannot handle it? [One hand finds its way to Akaza's hand again, squeezing around it just hard enough for those bones to creak.] I assure you, it is not for your well-being, Akaza.

[And though Kyojuro has really tried to put his most aggressive foot forward, some things are more difficult than others. That's precisely why he hooks his chin over Akaza's shoulder, tender as can be. His head cants, so that his hair brushes against his companion's own.]

I have told you of my promise. I have vowed to always be gentle toward that - [There is a brief moment of hesitation here. Considering the way Akaza has balked at him so far, this very well could be a death sentence, at least in a matter of speaking. What else can you call it, when you offer your heart on a platter.] - that which I care for.

Why would I ever treat you any different?

[bluebasketballed]

[is this a joke? the way kyojuro attempts to crush his ribcage, his fingers, it... does align with what akaza has just said. but it feels almost comical, for the man to respond with more forceful affection than to just release him entirely. that alone eases some of akaza's tension, yet he finds that some part of him still reels from it all the same.

his head, the wretched, traitorous thing, tilts into kyojuro's without his permission. the rest of his body follows suit, a hand grasping at kyojuro's arm, and his eyes fluttering shut.

akaza remembers. one of the first evenings they spent together, here. kyojuro promised his ailing mother to always protect others. but why him? why protect someone so much stronger?]

I still think you're a fool for that.

[tempurahair]

[It's a start. All of it feels like one carefully placed foot in front of another. With Akaza responding well to it, Kyojuro sees no fault in maintaining it. It's earned even just an ounce of affection back, which is a hell of a step forward compared to where they just were.]

Perhaps I am. [Kyojuro's laugh is low in his throat, undercut with something soft. Maybe it's the exact opposite of what Akaza wanted, but hadn't he only just explained his own logic.] But would you have me any other way?

[This, in and of itself, is a loaded question. Have me. Take me. He is offering himself in many ways, extending a hand and hoping desperately that Akaza might take it. Even if a third of them is gone, even if some part of him mourns a woman he never knew, he cannot hope but try to cobble together even a modicum of what they apparently once had.]

[bluebasketballed]

[once, not so long ago, their roles were switched. akaza was all but begging kyojuro to become a demon, to stay with him, to be his partner in growing ever stronger... but akaza feels no vindication in kyojuro being the one now on his knees.

there's a part of him, a part so large that he can't fully ignore it, only try to work around it, that wants to lean into it, to accept whatever kyojuro offers with no strings attached. but the part that will always consume everything else, like a black hole in his chest, his very soul...]

I -- shouldn't get to have you any way. [so why do his fingers tighten on the man's arm?] You're... good, Kyojuro. Even as a human, I committed evil acts. [he can't stop thinking about the portrait, either, about how happy they all looked. how happy she looked.

before he knows it, his cheeks are wet. yet again betrayed by his own body.]

We're not those people anymore. Koyuki isn't here. She -- she was waiting for me. She was willing to go into hell with me. But I'm... here. Not with her.

[finally, finally, he lets go of kyojuro in favor of pulling away, of wiping at his own face. even now, after hundreds of years, her absence is a raw, open wound that will never heal, the pain all-consuming.

is this the real reason he can't bring himself to allow it? maybe. everything else feels like a cheap excuse in comparison.]

I can't. Not without her. I can't.

[tempurahair]

[Had Akaza left it at that first statement, Kyojuro would have fought back as hard as he could. He would have said, with every ounce of flame in his heart, that he was perfectly capable of deciding just what his goodness could and could not allow. He would point out that for every protest Akaza offered, his own body seemed to indicate what it truly wanted.

All of this, he could have said.

But to the second protest, he has nothing. Those words feel like water being thrown upon his flame, any sort of arguments fizzling out violently and shrinking into hot coals. How could he ever argue against that

His palms itch to reach out, to wipe at those tears for himself, but he simply can't. That isn't his right. Whatever had happened to separate those people from the past from the men they've become now, it had done so cleanly and thoroughly. There is a line in the sand, one that separates Kyojuro from both Koyuki and Akaza. And that is simply the way of it.

The pain shows in his eyes for one second.

It hurts to admit, more than it should be when it comes to such a fleeting crush. Perhaps the man he was in the past cries out just as vehemently. Maybe some part of him believes that Koyuki would not want them to suffer alone. But Kyojuro, as he is now, has never had the pleasure of knowing the girl. He cannot speak for her. And so he ignores any internal protests that might crop up.

Two seconds.

On three, he crushes it within the palm of his hand, smiling hard. The warmth shines through, ever the stalwart flame pillar. He has given so much in his life. What is one more thing.]

I understand, Akaza. You are a good man. And I apologize for ever tempting you so. [He takes a step back, then two, before clearing his throat.]

The night is still young, you know. Perhaps you could show me a few moves from Soryu before it is terribly late?

[bluebasketballed]

[it isn't that akaza has run out of patience. he thinks it's growing little by little every day, even, especially under kyojuro's tutelage. no, it's more likely that he feels every bit like a wounded, cornered animal, and lashing out is only natural. he whips around, snarling even with the tears still streaming down his face.]

Stop lying to me, and to yourself! I already said I started it! And if I was ever good, none of us would be where we are! [clearly, if they're living these lives, hakuji failed to protect koyuki in both, and kyojuro in one. and in the other... they've already been over that countless times.]

Don't act like you're fine, either. I'm not blind, Kyojuro. I know I hurt you, so stop lying.

[kyojuro's attempt at redirecting things goes unacknowledged. even if akaza wasn't currently acting an ass, how could he ever focus on that right now?]

[tempurahair]

[That smile doesn't once falter. Not through death. Not through this.]

I suppose the wording was poor, all things considered. I only meant that you were good, respecting Koyuki even now. It is certainly better than I have done.

[He meets Akaza's gaze, unflinching in his intensity. He will not break.]

It seems we must be done for the evening. In that case, I shall leave you as you are. It is a nice evening for a walk, after all!

[His hand lifts, offering a careful wave. He keeps his heart ablaze, even as it wavers. It does not cross his mind, how Akaza might read his fighting spirit in this moment. It resembles something like a fire only half extinguished by a bucket of water. It flutters at the edges, trying to fight to stay alive, clinging onto wet branches and water logged coals.]

[bluebasketballed]

That's not what I -- hey! Don't walk away!

[unlike kyojuro, akaza's grabbing onto kyojuro's arm isn't carefully measured to the specifications of his comfort. it isn't tight enough to harm him, but it's rough nonetheless. only a moment after he realizes exactly how rough, akaza's scowl falters, and his hand releases kyojuro. there's something guilty and desperate in his eyes that threatens to crack, just as they appear to be.

why is he still so terrible at this? why is violence and anger still all he's good at?]

I don't think you're disrespecting her, Kyojuro. I'm just -- not ready. It still feels like I just lost her. [fuck. even as he swipes at his eyes, they keep welling. he feels like a goddamn child.] I don't give a shit if it's selfish, but I don't want to lose you, too. Even if it makes me a hypocrite -- I want you to talk to me, not just pretend like everything's fine when it isn't.

[he doesn't know what to say to make him stay. he doesn't know, so he just keeps talking. he tries everything.] You promised to protect people, but what about you? You're hurt. You deserve to be protected while you're vulnerable, too.

[tempurahair]

[Kyojuro hardly flinches at the hand on his arm. Maybe it's rough, but it's hardly unacceptable. He's dealt with far worse. It's enough to get him to stop moving, and that is what counts, right?

Granted, he doesn't turn around, but that's alright. Right?]

I should not have pressed the matter. I should have known better. [Even if it had been Akaza that had initiated, Kyojuro was the more experienced one. The older one as he so often insisted. If nothing else, he had far more experience in worldly matters like these. The moment Akaza had mentioned having someone like Koyuki in his life, he should have pulled back on the reins.

But here they are. Akaza begs him to share the load, to talk about how he feels, when he simply... can't. He has always been the one to shoulder the burden. He has kept his family afloat by stepping in for his father — both professionally and at home. His fellow Hashira lean on him, never mind the younger slayers.

He has to be strong, because who else is there?]

I... do not know what you want for me to say, Akaza. [His tone remains steady, but it lacks the trademark volume, the characteristic spirit.] I am hurt, but I will move through it. I have always done so.

["You deserve to be protected while you're vulnerable." Does Akaza know how much worse that makes things? How offering tender care immediately following a sound rejection feels like salt in his wounds? He swallows the lancing pain down once more.]

I am not the only one hurting. You have been through so much. It is as you said, you are still in mourning. I cannot expect you to be a shoulder for me.

[bluebasketballed]

[what he wants kyojuro to say? well -- fuck. he doesn't know, either. he just knows he doesn't want kyojuro to walk away.]

I don't want to forget it happened. I don't want you to be hurt alone! You're not acting entitled to it, I'm offering it! [maybe if he did have more experience in these matters, he would realize he's only digging his claws in the wounds. unfortunately, he doesn't.]

cw: alcoholism, child abuse [per usual]

[tempurahair]

Enough!

[The single word rips through Kyojuro's mouth before he can stop it. He does not hear his own voice in these words. Instead, he hears a bellowing man, smells liquor and hears shattering pottery. Immediately, Kyojuro shrinks back, as if to hide from himself. A hand lifts to cover his mouth.

But the dam, inadvertently or otherwise, has broken. Now that he's shouted, it feels wrong to not apologize, to not explain the matter. The bandage is ripped clean, and now all he can do is lower his hand and let the words spill out.]

You cannot offer me this. You mean well, I know that you do. But to tell me that you do not want me to leave, that you want to protect me - [He draws a breath, wincing as it wobbles at the edges. Akaza is clawing away at every defense he has ever put up, sinking claws into a vulnerable belly that Kyojuro has not been able to bare since he was a boy.] I know that your kindness does not mean that I am entitled to anything beyond that. I can accept that. But not right now, Akaza.

Right now, it is only making matters worse. [A pause.] Please, do not take that the wrong way. I am not angry. I know you are not trying to hurt me. You - [That smile bleeds back into his words. It isn't forced, not this time. He means it, in the same way he seems to smile every time he talks about Akaza.] - have grown so much. But these are the things that take time to learn.

Please, do not beat yourself up over my telling this.

[Even when trying to let down a wall, he cannot help but try to hold someone else up.]

[bluebasketballed]

[even during their fight to the death, when akaza offered what was to kyojuro the greatest insult possible, the man never spoke to him like this. that tone, paired with kyojuro's own reaction to it, at least tells akaza that kyojuro doesn't fully intend its vehemence. part of him wonders whether that makes it better or worse that he was able to wrench it from him.

still, he listens to what kyojuro has to say. it isn't what he wants to hear, and as usual, he doesn't fully understand the human social nuance. but he accepts the message; he can't help kyojuro right now. the finality of it is enough for him to get a grip on himself, but he can't wear a smile so easily, and he doesn't try. nor does he continue insisting on getting his way. he just looks down and away, steadying his breath as he did his face.]

... Will you at least promise you'll try to find someone who can help right now?

[tempurahair]

[It isn't fair, how deeply Akaza seems to care even now. It makes his entire soul ache, only to be compounded by the guilt that surges through him for even feeling that way.

Not like this. Not right now.]

I... promise to do what I can.

[He doesn't know who is out and about right now. It's not like he's going to burst into someone's house while they are settled in for the evening. Truthfully, there are few people he trusts in that way. Akaza was one of the few he counted in that number, and, well...]

Is it too much to ask for you to do the same?

[bluebasketballed]

[it's probably a foolish ask. most of the people akaza would consider himself remotely "close" with are children on whom he would never want to place this sort of burden. the adults, he doesn't necessarily feel he can talk to, if only because he finds talking so godsdamned difficult.

kyojuro is even more of a social butterfly than he is, but even so, akaza shouldn't expect that his network is in any better condition. at least, he shouldn't make kyojuro promise things he physically can't guarantee.]

It isn't too much to ask. [yet, he doesn't make the same promise.] I think I'm just going to rest.

... Don't get some stupid idea like you're not welcome here, alright? Come home when you're ready. [maybe that wording might hurt a bit, considering everything, but... it's important that he use it, anyway. it's important that kyojuro still consider this his home.]

[tempurahair]

[Home. It does indeed fracture through his heart, first one way, then echoing back onto itself. This was not his home. It had been their home, and as Akaza had pointed out, they aren't those people anymore. There was a reason Soryu had been part of Akaza's life and not Kyojuro's, he is certain of this.

But he doesn't argue. Not for his own sake, but for Senjuro. He has already settled down, and Kyojuro will not be the reason he is upended once more. More than anything, his brother deserved stability. And it has always been Kyojuro's role to offer it.

(Everything he does, he does for other people. That has always been his way.)]

I will. It should not be more than a few hours. [He turns toward the exit.] Thank you, by the way. For your honesty. I... meant all that I said.

[He still feels Akaza is good. Maybe he wasn't once. Maybe he still had much to make up for. But Kyojuro thinks that the man in front of him, as he is now, is wholly good.]