sticksandbones IC Inbox

[bluebasketballed]

powers nerfed & gained
❆ - superhuman strength: nerfed to the point he couldn't destroy, like, a building in one hit, but even hakuji as a human could punch people's bones apart so good luck!
❆ - self healing: nerfed from instant to delayed 5-10 minutes.
❆ + conditional sunlight immunity: an enchanted anklet that nullifies the harmful effects of sunlight and sun-based magic so long as he is wearing it.

deaths & resurrection prices
none..... YET

other permanent changes
❆ scarring - november 2025: a solid scar the width of his fist at the crux of his ribcage and at the same height on his back, implying impalement. any sensation to this scar, including pain, is shared with kyojuro.


weasel's note: akaza's handwriting is the very sad and choppy scrawl of a man who barely knows how to write. the netbook is just polite enough to make it legible. i just type it in all lowercase bc i'm too lazy to pick out the spelling/handwriting mistakes. thank u for your understanding. i'm having fun now thx

he lives at the inn, the room next to kyojuro's. his window is boarded up from the inside. it is very dark in there. mentitycave

he lives at the soryu dojo south of the river, in koyuki's old room. he offers unarmed self-defense training at the dojo.


plotting contact: PM // discord @ fuckweasel

Comments

[bluebasketballed]

[once, not so long ago, their roles were switched. akaza was all but begging kyojuro to become a demon, to stay with him, to be his partner in growing ever stronger... but akaza feels no vindication in kyojuro being the one now on his knees.

there's a part of him, a part so large that he can't fully ignore it, only try to work around it, that wants to lean into it, to accept whatever kyojuro offers with no strings attached. but the part that will always consume everything else, like a black hole in his chest, his very soul...]

I -- shouldn't get to have you any way. [so why do his fingers tighten on the man's arm?] You're... good, Kyojuro. Even as a human, I committed evil acts. [he can't stop thinking about the portrait, either, about how happy they all looked. how happy she looked.

before he knows it, his cheeks are wet. yet again betrayed by his own body.]

We're not those people anymore. Koyuki isn't here. She -- she was waiting for me. She was willing to go into hell with me. But I'm... here. Not with her.

[finally, finally, he lets go of kyojuro in favor of pulling away, of wiping at his own face. even now, after hundreds of years, her absence is a raw, open wound that will never heal, the pain all-consuming.

is this the real reason he can't bring himself to allow it? maybe. everything else feels like a cheap excuse in comparison.]

I can't. Not without her. I can't.

[tempurahair]

[Had Akaza left it at that first statement, Kyojuro would have fought back as hard as he could. He would have said, with every ounce of flame in his heart, that he was perfectly capable of deciding just what his goodness could and could not allow. He would point out that for every protest Akaza offered, his own body seemed to indicate what it truly wanted.

All of this, he could have said.

But to the second protest, he has nothing. Those words feel like water being thrown upon his flame, any sort of arguments fizzling out violently and shrinking into hot coals. How could he ever argue against that

His palms itch to reach out, to wipe at those tears for himself, but he simply can't. That isn't his right. Whatever had happened to separate those people from the past from the men they've become now, it had done so cleanly and thoroughly. There is a line in the sand, one that separates Kyojuro from both Koyuki and Akaza. And that is simply the way of it.

The pain shows in his eyes for one second.

It hurts to admit, more than it should be when it comes to such a fleeting crush. Perhaps the man he was in the past cries out just as vehemently. Maybe some part of him believes that Koyuki would not want them to suffer alone. But Kyojuro, as he is now, has never had the pleasure of knowing the girl. He cannot speak for her. And so he ignores any internal protests that might crop up.

Two seconds.

On three, he crushes it within the palm of his hand, smiling hard. The warmth shines through, ever the stalwart flame pillar. He has given so much in his life. What is one more thing.]

I understand, Akaza. You are a good man. And I apologize for ever tempting you so. [He takes a step back, then two, before clearing his throat.]

The night is still young, you know. Perhaps you could show me a few moves from Soryu before it is terribly late?

[bluebasketballed]

[it isn't that akaza has run out of patience. he thinks it's growing little by little every day, even, especially under kyojuro's tutelage. no, it's more likely that he feels every bit like a wounded, cornered animal, and lashing out is only natural. he whips around, snarling even with the tears still streaming down his face.]

Stop lying to me, and to yourself! I already said I started it! And if I was ever good, none of us would be where we are! [clearly, if they're living these lives, hakuji failed to protect koyuki in both, and kyojuro in one. and in the other... they've already been over that countless times.]

Don't act like you're fine, either. I'm not blind, Kyojuro. I know I hurt you, so stop lying.

[kyojuro's attempt at redirecting things goes unacknowledged. even if akaza wasn't currently acting an ass, how could he ever focus on that right now?]

[tempurahair]

[That smile doesn't once falter. Not through death. Not through this.]

I suppose the wording was poor, all things considered. I only meant that you were good, respecting Koyuki even now. It is certainly better than I have done.

[He meets Akaza's gaze, unflinching in his intensity. He will not break.]

It seems we must be done for the evening. In that case, I shall leave you as you are. It is a nice evening for a walk, after all!

[His hand lifts, offering a careful wave. He keeps his heart ablaze, even as it wavers. It does not cross his mind, how Akaza might read his fighting spirit in this moment. It resembles something like a fire only half extinguished by a bucket of water. It flutters at the edges, trying to fight to stay alive, clinging onto wet branches and water logged coals.]

[bluebasketballed]

That's not what I -- hey! Don't walk away!

[unlike kyojuro, akaza's grabbing onto kyojuro's arm isn't carefully measured to the specifications of his comfort. it isn't tight enough to harm him, but it's rough nonetheless. only a moment after he realizes exactly how rough, akaza's scowl falters, and his hand releases kyojuro. there's something guilty and desperate in his eyes that threatens to crack, just as they appear to be.

why is he still so terrible at this? why is violence and anger still all he's good at?]

I don't think you're disrespecting her, Kyojuro. I'm just -- not ready. It still feels like I just lost her. [fuck. even as he swipes at his eyes, they keep welling. he feels like a goddamn child.] I don't give a shit if it's selfish, but I don't want to lose you, too. Even if it makes me a hypocrite -- I want you to talk to me, not just pretend like everything's fine when it isn't.

[he doesn't know what to say to make him stay. he doesn't know, so he just keeps talking. he tries everything.] You promised to protect people, but what about you? You're hurt. You deserve to be protected while you're vulnerable, too.

[tempurahair]

[Kyojuro hardly flinches at the hand on his arm. Maybe it's rough, but it's hardly unacceptable. He's dealt with far worse. It's enough to get him to stop moving, and that is what counts, right?

Granted, he doesn't turn around, but that's alright. Right?]

I should not have pressed the matter. I should have known better. [Even if it had been Akaza that had initiated, Kyojuro was the more experienced one. The older one as he so often insisted. If nothing else, he had far more experience in worldly matters like these. The moment Akaza had mentioned having someone like Koyuki in his life, he should have pulled back on the reins.

But here they are. Akaza begs him to share the load, to talk about how he feels, when he simply... can't. He has always been the one to shoulder the burden. He has kept his family afloat by stepping in for his father — both professionally and at home. His fellow Hashira lean on him, never mind the younger slayers.

He has to be strong, because who else is there?]

I... do not know what you want for me to say, Akaza. [His tone remains steady, but it lacks the trademark volume, the characteristic spirit.] I am hurt, but I will move through it. I have always done so.

["You deserve to be protected while you're vulnerable." Does Akaza know how much worse that makes things? How offering tender care immediately following a sound rejection feels like salt in his wounds? He swallows the lancing pain down once more.]

I am not the only one hurting. You have been through so much. It is as you said, you are still in mourning. I cannot expect you to be a shoulder for me.

[bluebasketballed]

[what he wants kyojuro to say? well -- fuck. he doesn't know, either. he just knows he doesn't want kyojuro to walk away.]

I don't want to forget it happened. I don't want you to be hurt alone! You're not acting entitled to it, I'm offering it! [maybe if he did have more experience in these matters, he would realize he's only digging his claws in the wounds. unfortunately, he doesn't.]

cw: alcoholism, child abuse [per usual]

[tempurahair]

Enough!

[The single word rips through Kyojuro's mouth before he can stop it. He does not hear his own voice in these words. Instead, he hears a bellowing man, smells liquor and hears shattering pottery. Immediately, Kyojuro shrinks back, as if to hide from himself. A hand lifts to cover his mouth.

But the dam, inadvertently or otherwise, has broken. Now that he's shouted, it feels wrong to not apologize, to not explain the matter. The bandage is ripped clean, and now all he can do is lower his hand and let the words spill out.]

You cannot offer me this. You mean well, I know that you do. But to tell me that you do not want me to leave, that you want to protect me - [He draws a breath, wincing as it wobbles at the edges. Akaza is clawing away at every defense he has ever put up, sinking claws into a vulnerable belly that Kyojuro has not been able to bare since he was a boy.] I know that your kindness does not mean that I am entitled to anything beyond that. I can accept that. But not right now, Akaza.

Right now, it is only making matters worse. [A pause.] Please, do not take that the wrong way. I am not angry. I know you are not trying to hurt me. You - [That smile bleeds back into his words. It isn't forced, not this time. He means it, in the same way he seems to smile every time he talks about Akaza.] - have grown so much. But these are the things that take time to learn.

Please, do not beat yourself up over my telling this.

[Even when trying to let down a wall, he cannot help but try to hold someone else up.]

[bluebasketballed]

[even during their fight to the death, when akaza offered what was to kyojuro the greatest insult possible, the man never spoke to him like this. that tone, paired with kyojuro's own reaction to it, at least tells akaza that kyojuro doesn't fully intend its vehemence. part of him wonders whether that makes it better or worse that he was able to wrench it from him.

still, he listens to what kyojuro has to say. it isn't what he wants to hear, and as usual, he doesn't fully understand the human social nuance. but he accepts the message; he can't help kyojuro right now. the finality of it is enough for him to get a grip on himself, but he can't wear a smile so easily, and he doesn't try. nor does he continue insisting on getting his way. he just looks down and away, steadying his breath as he did his face.]

... Will you at least promise you'll try to find someone who can help right now?

[tempurahair]

[It isn't fair, how deeply Akaza seems to care even now. It makes his entire soul ache, only to be compounded by the guilt that surges through him for even feeling that way.

Not like this. Not right now.]

I... promise to do what I can.

[He doesn't know who is out and about right now. It's not like he's going to burst into someone's house while they are settled in for the evening. Truthfully, there are few people he trusts in that way. Akaza was one of the few he counted in that number, and, well...]

Is it too much to ask for you to do the same?

[bluebasketballed]

[it's probably a foolish ask. most of the people akaza would consider himself remotely "close" with are children on whom he would never want to place this sort of burden. the adults, he doesn't necessarily feel he can talk to, if only because he finds talking so godsdamned difficult.

kyojuro is even more of a social butterfly than he is, but even so, akaza shouldn't expect that his network is in any better condition. at least, he shouldn't make kyojuro promise things he physically can't guarantee.]

It isn't too much to ask. [yet, he doesn't make the same promise.] I think I'm just going to rest.

... Don't get some stupid idea like you're not welcome here, alright? Come home when you're ready. [maybe that wording might hurt a bit, considering everything, but... it's important that he use it, anyway. it's important that kyojuro still consider this his home.]

[tempurahair]

[Home. It does indeed fracture through his heart, first one way, then echoing back onto itself. This was not his home. It had been their home, and as Akaza had pointed out, they aren't those people anymore. There was a reason Soryu had been part of Akaza's life and not Kyojuro's, he is certain of this.

But he doesn't argue. Not for his own sake, but for Senjuro. He has already settled down, and Kyojuro will not be the reason he is upended once more. More than anything, his brother deserved stability. And it has always been Kyojuro's role to offer it.

(Everything he does, he does for other people. That has always been his way.)]

I will. It should not be more than a few hours. [He turns toward the exit.] Thank you, by the way. For your honesty. I... meant all that I said.

[He still feels Akaza is good. Maybe he wasn't once. Maybe he still had much to make up for. But Kyojuro thinks that the man in front of him, as he is now, is wholly good.]